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Things Are Happening – December 2, 2016


A. The Decis-Ernst

This week, Peyton Ernst was finally allowed to shake off the gag order and reveal that this January she’ll be heading to Gustavus Adolphus.

No. She’s going to Alabama. Obviously. We’ve known this for a while based on her literally everything about her and that time Bailie Key committed, but now it’s “official.” And by official, I mean there was a picture on Twitter. Which is what official means now.

Based on this tweet, we can assume Ernst ultimately selected Alabama because of the coaches, the teammates, the butts, and the white baseball caps.

We’ll have to talk beam lineup once we get to the Alabama preview portion of the month.

B. Training!

As always, Utah is going for the December championship of training videos. Kim Tessen’s 1.5 looks on track.


Skimmy Gibbler (I don’t know either…) is retaining the DTY and the tucked double double just like I told her to.

Merrell also appears to be trying to bring back her 1.5 from JO days. Many teams are showing a distinctly different strategy from last year’s “we’ll wait and see if it’s worth it to try the 1.5,” having learned that it almost always is.

LSU held its 284th preseason intrasquad, also revealing that none of the team has a future in acting.

Is Shae Zamardi starting to have a little southern accent? You’re from Canada.

KJ’s choreography body language is my patronus.

C. Mexican Open

Last week featured the famous Mexican Open. There’s an actual gymnastics competition at this meet that I think was won by Angelina Kysla or Angela Lansbury or something, but no one ever cares about that part because

What……life am I living? How is this a thing that exists? In not the silent film era? That time Marian Dragulescu tried to do a wolf jump on beam but accidentally just sort of spasmed.

Catalina Ponor showing off her new formal wear collection…

Nestor Abad doesn’t like attention at all…

Marian Dragulescu also did the macarena. Because you were all thinking, “I feel like that macarena is ready for a comeback.”

I’m going to have to do a recap of this nonsense, aren’t I?

Any other favorites?

D. GymCastic

This week, a commissioned podcast all about Ukrainian gymnastics. We talk about our favorites. And then some of our other favorites. And then more of our favorites. And then bemoan how catastrophically Ukrainian their careers ended up being. It’s really uplifting.

ALSO, today is your final day to enter the contest to win the Norbert’s mini bar and mat combo. So do it. We’re kind of excited about this.

E. Ranching (Again?)

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…

What “expectations for 2017” they could possibly have to go through this time that they couldn’t have gone through three weeks ago is unexplained, but you know…VERIFICATION OF WEIRD WRIST POSITIONS WHILE STANDING IN FRONT OF VALERI. (Morgan Hurd wins.)

This time it’s partial routine verification instead of 1/3 routine verification. So yeah. Did half of your routine get any better during the course of Thanksgiving dinner? We’ll see.

Also, Ragan Smith is there. And Kim Zmeskal announced that Smith will be the SUPER SPECIAL GUEST at this year’s Legendzzzzzzzzzzz meet. Hmmm, I wonder how you wangled that one. What a get.

F. Preseason meets

December also means the annual preseason showcase meets will soon be upon us (except for Oregon State, who did it in like June). Many teams will hold one, but here’s the schedule for the biggies.

December 4 – 3:00 ET/12:00 PT – Auburn Preview
December 9 – 9:00 ET/6:00 PT – Utah Red Rocks Preview
December 10 – 4:00 ET/1:00 PT – Michigan v. EMU Exhibition
December 12 – 7:30 ET/4:30 PT – LSU Gymnastics 101
December 16 – 6:00 ET/3:00 PT – Georgia Sneak Peek

Actually showing these previews to us is a thing now (remember 30 seconds ago when we didn’t get to watch the SEC Championship?), so LSU’s 101 showcase will be on WatchESPN and Utah’s Red Rocks Preview will be on human television on the Pac-12 Network. Obviously, I’ll be watching them like a hawk and having a lot of opinions about lineups.

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