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Things Are Happening – January 12, 2017

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A. Weekend schedule

Friday, January 13
Scores Watch
6:30 ET/3:30 PT – [21] West Virginia @ Pitt LINK ACCN
7:00 ET/4:00 PT – [15] Kentucky @ [3] Florida LINK SEC+
7:00 ET/4:00 PT – Georgia @ [14] Auburn LINK SECN
7:00 ET/4:00 PT – UW-Whitewater @ UW-Stout LINK FREE
7:30 ET/4:30 PT – UW-Oshkosh, Towson @ Iowa State LINK ISU TV
7:30 ET/4:30 PT – Hamline @ UW-La Crosse FREE
7:30 ET/4:30 PT – Gustavus Adolphus @ Winona State FREE
8:00 ET/5:00 PT – [6] Missouri @ [12] Arkansas LINK SEC+
8:00 ET/5:00 PT – Michigan State @ [24] Iowa LINK UI TV
8:30 ET/5:30 PT – [1] LSU @ [4] Alabama LINK SECN
9:00 ET/6:00 PT – [5] Utah @ [23] BYU LINK FREE
9:00 ET/6:00 PT – [16] NC State, Bowling Green @ Utah State LINK FREE
10:00 ET/7:00 PT – Stanford, Boise State, Yale @ UC Davis LINK
10:00 ET/7:00 PT – [9] Oregon State @ Seattle Pacific LINK FREE
10:00 ET/7:00 PT – San Jose State @ [20] Sacramento State LINK
Saturday, January 14 Scores Watch
1:00 ET/10:00 PT – North Carolina, Cornell, Penn @ [10] George Washington LINK
4:00 ET/1:00 PT – [11] Michigan, Washington, Kent State @ [22] Ohio State LINK CSL $
4:00 ET/1:00 PT – [18] Minnesota, Arizona, Alaska @ Maryland LINK BTN+
4:00 ET/1:00 PT – New Hampshire, Bridgeport @ Brown
5:00 ET/2:00 PT – Eastern Michigan, Rutgers, Illinois-Chicago @ [24] Illinois LINK FREE
8:00 ET/5:00 PT – Arizona State, TWU, Air Force @ [7] Denver LINK
8:00 ET/5:00 PT – That Ozone Thing (Illinois State, Temple, Centenary, UW-Eau Claire)
Sunday, January 15 Scores Watch
12:00 ET/9:00 PT – Brockport, Springfield @ Rhode Island
1:00 ET/10:00 PT – Central Michigan @ Western Michigan ESPN3
1:00 ET/10:00 PT – [17] Northern Illinois @ Ball State LINK FREE
1:00 ET/10:00 PT – West Chester, Cortland @ Southern Connecticut SCSU
2:00 ET/11:00 PT – [19] Penn State @ Nebraska LINK
3:00 ET/12:00 PT – [13] Cal @ [24] Iowa UI TV
4:00 ET/1:00 PT – [6] Missouri, SEMO @ Lindenwood LINK FLOG
5:00 ET/2:00 PT – [8] UCLA @ [2] Oklahoma LINK FSN
Monday, January 16 Scores Watch
2:00 ET/11:00 PT – [16] NC State @ Georgia LINK SEC+

It’s a double-meet weekend for Missouri, NC State, Iowa, and Georgia. I have listed those four teams in the order in which they are ranked. This is the world we live in. Significant (as significant as we get in the second week of January) meets highlight Friday and Sunday. Saturday is a little sparse, but we’ll make do. I’ll have a live blog of that Ohio State quad with Michigan and Washington to keep things interesting. Here’s what I’m watching for:

B. LSU/Alabama

C. UCLA/Oklahoma

D. And the rest

E. American Cup lineup

In elite news, USAG has (mostly) announced the roster for this year’s American Cup.

On the men’s side, Sam Mikulak will be in attendance representing the United Smiles of Tanning. Thankfully, Oleg Verniaiev has agreed to return to the competition this year to take some pressure off our fragile little dove. Literally no one is expecting Sam to win. Phew, because his performances have been a little American’t Cup lately. He fell on floor and horse in the first two rotations both of the last two years, so that’s the number to beat. Also attending are last year’s champion Ryohei Kato and Sam Oldham, whom I’m excited to see again. The second US man will be announced at a later date.

For the women, Ragan Smith has been anointed as the new Chosen One because…she’s the gymnast who’s still here. Congratulations! I’m hoping for a new senior in the other spot, sort of like in 2013 when Ebee pulled out and they had to replace her with that rando Simone Biles. Ellie Black will return for her 786th American Cup, but also Eythora. Praise be. Is it bad that I’m kind of hoping NBC skips over her floor routine, just for the gymternet freak out? That’s bad, right?

F. GymCastic

We’re back! This week, we broke down ourselves emotionally all the NCAA action from the first week, with specific attention paid to what the hell was going on in those Georgia and UCLA beam rotations and the life importance of Maggie Nichols. We also discussed our gymnastics highlights, lowlights, and lessons from 2016 and all the news from the last month or so. Also, we solved every world problem. As always, you can listen in the box on this page.

G. This

And in August, Valentina is due to issue a press release saying the baby is fat and lazy and needs to retire and has been sent back to its home gym.

I hope Aliya doesn’t try to connect labor to a triple Y spin. That’s never getting credit, girl.

H. Beam routine of the week

This week’s beam routine belongs to the legend herself, Jenny Hansen. Back handspring + split 1/2.

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