BUT WHAT ABOUT HAMLINE?!?!?!

That’s right, the NCAA coaches’ preseason poll is out, and it’s as fun and pointless as ever.

Sadly, there’s nothing too, too dramatic going on. Clearly, my petition for at least 5 coaches to submit a joke ballot was denied once again.

2020 Preseason Coaches Poll
1. Oklahoma (36 first-place votes) – 1813 points
2. LSU (11 first-place votes) – 1755 points
3. Florida (2 first-place votes) – 1680 points
4. UCLA (1 first-place vote) – 1671 points
5. Utah – 1559 points
6. Michigan – 1515 points
7. Denver (1 first-place vote) – 1493 points
8. Georgia (1438 points)
9. California (1315 points)
10. Alabama (1306 points)
11. Oregon State (1271 points)
12. Kentucky (1240 points)
13. Auburn (1213 points)
14. Minnesota (1196 points)
15. Nebraska (1137 points)
16. Missouri (1000 points)
17. Washington (925 points)
18. Boise State (900 points)
19. Arkansas (798 points)
20. Iowa State (765 points)
21. Arizona State (749 points)
22. Stanford (746 points)
23. BYU (742 points)
24. Ohio State (654 points)
25. Penn State (638 points)
26. Southern Utah (559 points)
27. Illinois (544 points)
28. NC State (497 points)
29. Iowa (427 points)
30. West Virginia (425 points)
31. Arizona (365 points)
32. George Washington (317 points)
33. Maryland (301 points)
34. Central Michigan (233 points)
35. New Hampshire (204 points)
36. Lindenwood (82 points)

I’d say the placement of Florida and UCLA is the biggest headline-grabber here since most of the coaches are typically too busy getting high under the bleachers to go to class and end up just paying the final 2019 rankings to give them the answers to the test. Yet, Florida is ahead of UCLA in this poll despite spending last season ranked lower (and of course finishing lower because of the regionals disaster that shall not be named).

You wonder if the lack of “I respect and am also 37% afraid of Valorie” points took down UCLA—a team that’s typically on the over-ranked side rather than the under-ranked side—though that would actually be somewhat unusual in coaches polls (i.e., after Suzanne retired, Georgia remained #1 in the poll in Jay’s first season).

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The defending champion almost always receives 1st place the following season (unless it’s Alabama), and Oklahoma is entering the season as a default favorite anyway, so nothing remarkable there.

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We didn’t quite get a Boise State first-place vote situation this year (still my favorite), though Denver did get thrown a random first-place vote, so pop off I guess? But that’s pretty tame as far as random first-place votes go because Denver did make the final last year. COMMIT YOU GUYS.

Denver and Oregon State both received the benefit of their stellar finishes last year in the form of a ranking boost—not with equivalent rankings, which wouldn’t have been accurate anyway, but better preseason rankings than we’ve become accustomed to. Denver was 13th in last year’s poll, and Oregon State was 17th.

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This is one of Alabama’s lowest-ever preseason rankings, but it must be considered warranted after last year’s 12th-place finish. Alabama is actually still getting the benefit of reputation in not being ranked as low as last year’s finish.

Meanwhile, Kentucky is ranked lower than last season’s finish, and lower than Alabama, which you can definitely justify based on all the lost routines…but did you actually pay attention to that, or were you just like NOT AS FAMOUS? The same goes for Boise State. Boise State is typically under-ranked in the poll because everyone always forgets it’s a place, but is it ranked low this year because you were crunching the numbers and have valid concerns what the team is going to do without Shani Remme and Sarah Means, or because…what’s Idaho?

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Are the coaches, like, trying more than they used to with these rankings? That would be a real shame.