The Balance Beam Situation

Because gymnastics is a comedy, not a drama

Things Are Happening – October 14, 2020

A. Friendship and solidarity

More details have emerged regarding the Japan/Russia/USA/China mixed meet in Tokyo on November 8th—first and foremost that it’s definitely actually happening.

It will be known as the Friendship and Solidarity Competition—but we have to watch anyway. Instead of competing for their countries, the athletes will be split up into two teams, Team Friendship and Team Solidarity, competing in a battle royale to find out once and for all which is better, friendship or solidarity. COME ON SOLIDARITY. CRUSH FRIENDSHIP IN ITS STUPID FACE. The routines will be scored in cupcakes, the vault will be a physical unicorn, and a shooting star will escort the athletes from one apparatus to the next.

The US confirmed its six-member team to the Olympic Channel as Yul Moldauer, Shane Wiskus, Paul Juda, Shilese Jones, Sophia Buter, and eMjae Frazier, with selection based on…who exists and wants to do this? I wouldn’t really read anything more into it than that. These are the national team members who are available and feel ready to do competition routines.

The US men’s group is more Olympic-y, and for them in particular, there’s the added bonus of being able to match up directly against the best in the world, as Uchimura, Nagornyy, Dalaloyan, and Kaya are all on the list to compete. So the meet may be stupid…but also really good?

Speaking of the world of meets, the Bundesliga is back and running, with Sarah Voss recording the highest AA score, Kim Bui winning bars, and Dorien Motten winning floor. Meanwhile, Tonya Paulsson won the Swedish Championship by a cool million points, with Jonna Adlerteg scoring highest on bars.

B. Jane Allen retires

British Gymnastics head Jane Allen, who in recent months has revealed herself to be a catastrophe, announced her very coincidental retirement from the position yesterday, one that was totally planned all along and had nothing to do with the Gymnast Alliance. None at all. It’s a coincidence you guys! Get her some retirement presents!!

She actually emerged from her web for a “catch you donkeys on the flip side, no consequences for thissssss champion” interview with Dan Roan, in which she basically says exactly all the wrong things, including that she is personally devastated by the last few months because she spent so much time building the marketing profile of BG (Steve Penny, is that you?) and that “it’s not the Amanda Reddin I know.” Oh well that solves it then.

The continued stance of British Gymnastics has been

It’s…it’s almost hard to believe all these athletes have no faith in the organization…

C. Germany’s out

Germany has become the latest major nation to announce that it will not be competing at the European Championships in Mersin in December. This is particularly interesting because German gymnastics was willing to send athletes to the Szombathely world cup earlier this month, and has been comfortable doing Bundesliga on its own terms. A big European Championship in Turkey is a different proposition altogether.

Basically I would not be surprised at this point if it just ends up as Turkey, Russia, Ukraine, and Hungary being like “ALL THE EUROPEAN TITLES FOR ME I GUESS.”

D. And you know who else is out…

Danell!

E. GymCastic

This week, a commissioned episode all about the epic 1991 VHS extravaganza, Gymnastics Greatest Stars.

Paris World Cup Review GymCastic: The Gymnastics Podcast

Meet News GymCastic's Paris correspondent Laura Cappelle is here to help us break down the major stories of last weekend's World Challenge Cup, including The ridiculousness of how hard it was to watch this competition in the year 2022 Jordan Chiles' top international floor score of the year, and how the crowd reacted Shilese Jones' wolf-themed floor adventures, the difference between her intended D score and actual D score, and the whole point of US women actually going to challenge cups What professional dance critic Dr. Capelle PhD thought about the floor choreography and what makes a compelling floor experience for the crowd Does the men's technical committee hate joy and its own sport? Yes. Yes it does. A full debrief on the Heath Thorpe (AUS) dance skill rejection. Marine Boyer's home gold beam medal—and renowned beam specialist Jade Carey The terror on men's vault: why was this allowed to happen and what can be done about it? The Rebeca Andrade/Shilese Jones showdown on bars, and what happened to Flavia and Melanie at this meet Ellie Black's new skill, and why it's a win for gymnastics integrity The dawn of the age of Irish gymnastics The US men medaling in all their finals JOIN CLUB GYM NERD Join Club Gym Nerd (or give it as a gift!) for access to weekly Behind the Scenes episodes. Buy our awesome clothing and gifts here. We have a Ukraine Fundraiser design, all proceeds go to the CARE Ukraine Crisis fund. RELATED EPISODES & RESOURCES Donate grips and tape for Ukrainian gymnasts Donate to family of NCAA coach in Ukraine To follow the effects of the Russian invasion to Ukraine at Gymnovosti Gymnastics History and Code of Points Archive from Uncle Tim What the F Is Artistry? World Challenge Cups Are So In Right Now The World Championship Field Is Set US Championship and Men's Euros Recap US Championships Preview and Women's Euros Recap European Championships 2022: Women's Event Finals European Championships 2022: Women's Team Final European Championships 2022: Senior Women's All-Around MORE WAYS TO LISTEN HERE
  1. Paris World Cup Review
  2. What the F Is Artistry
  3. 559 World Challenge Cups Are So In Right Now
  4. The World Championships Field Is Set
  5. Spencer's Beloved BlogCasts

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