The Balance Beam Situation

Because gymnastics is a comedy, not a drama

Things Are Happening – October 14, 2020

A. Friendship and solidarity

More details have emerged regarding the Japan/Russia/USA/China mixed meet in Tokyo on November 8th—first and foremost that it’s definitely actually happening.

It will be known as the Friendship and Solidarity Competition—but we have to watch anyway. Instead of competing for their countries, the athletes will be split up into two teams, Team Friendship and Team Solidarity, competing in a battle royale to find out once and for all which is better, friendship or solidarity. COME ON SOLIDARITY. CRUSH FRIENDSHIP IN ITS STUPID FACE. The routines will be scored in cupcakes, the vault will be a physical unicorn, and a shooting star will escort the athletes from one apparatus to the next.

The US confirmed its six-member team to the Olympic Channel as Yul Moldauer, Shane Wiskus, Paul Juda, Shilese Jones, Sophia Buter, and eMjae Frazier, with selection based on…who exists and wants to do this? I wouldn’t really read anything more into it than that. These are the national team members who are available and feel ready to do competition routines.

The US men’s group is more Olympic-y, and for them in particular, there’s the added bonus of being able to match up directly against the best in the world, as Uchimura, Nagornyy, Dalaloyan, and Kaya are all on the list to compete. So the meet may be stupid…but also really good?

Speaking of the world of meets, the Bundesliga is back and running, with Sarah Voss recording the highest AA score, Kim Bui winning bars, and Dorien Motten winning floor. Meanwhile, Tonya Paulsson won the Swedish Championship by a cool million points, with Jonna Adlerteg scoring highest on bars.

B. Jane Allen retires

British Gymnastics head Jane Allen, who in recent months has revealed herself to be a catastrophe, announced her very coincidental retirement from the position yesterday, one that was totally planned all along and had nothing to do with the Gymnast Alliance. None at all. It’s a coincidence you guys! Get her some retirement presents!!

She actually emerged from her web for a “catch you donkeys on the flip side, no consequences for thissssss champion” interview with Dan Roan, in which she basically says exactly all the wrong things, including that she is personally devastated by the last few months because she spent so much time building the marketing profile of BG (Steve Penny, is that you?) and that “it’s not the Amanda Reddin I know.” Oh well that solves it then.

The continued stance of British Gymnastics has been

It’s…it’s almost hard to believe all these athletes have no faith in the organization…

C. Germany’s out

Germany has become the latest major nation to announce that it will not be competing at the European Championships in Mersin in December. This is particularly interesting because German gymnastics was willing to send athletes to the Szombathely world cup earlier this month, and has been comfortable doing Bundesliga on its own terms. A big European Championship in Turkey is a different proposition altogether.

Basically I would not be surprised at this point if it just ends up as Turkey, Russia, Ukraine, and Hungary being like “ALL THE EUROPEAN TITLES FOR ME I GUESS.”

D. And you know who else is out…

Danell!

E. GymCastic

This week, a commissioned episode all about the epic 1991 VHS extravaganza, Gymnastics Greatest Stars.

The competitions we have to look forward to this summer, and why this year is different from all other years SEA Games: Rifda Irfanaluthfi won the all-around title, Aleah Finnegan did the piked deltchev, Carlos Yulo did everything better than everyone, and we have some words about composition requirements Janelle McDonald is the new UCLA head coach. What should the first order of business be? Constant vigilance news out of the Netherlands, Great Britain, Canada, the US, and everywhere Plus, awards for Lexy Ramler and Trinity Thomas, Fisk's first gymnast, which gymnasts are coming back to college for extra years, which familiar names excelled at L10 nationals, Chuso doing Chuso, and Simone's new reality show And your feedback on the live show, rewarding difficulty, toxic coaches, college 10s, and who can hope to be a good gymnast JOIN CLUB GYM NERD Join Club Gym Nerd (or give it as a gift!) for access to Behind the Scenes episodes. Buy our awesome clothing and gifts here. We have a Ukraine Fundraiser design, all proceeds go to the CARE Ukraine Crisis fund. WATCH HERE Club Gym Nerd members can watch the podcast being recorded and see some of the gymnastics we discuss, plus get access to all of our exclusive interviews and Behind The Scenes episodes.  RELATED EPISODES & RESOURCES Donate grips and tape for Ukrainian gymnasts Donate to family of Alabama volunteer assistant coach in Ukraine To follow the effects of the Russian invasion to Ukraine on gymnastics, go to Gymnovosti GYMKATA The Leotard Episode: Part Deux NCAA Championships 2022 Winter Cup Recap Spitfire: The Movie (Commissioned) Nadia: The Movie (Commissioned)
  1. Athletistry
  2. GYMKATA
  3. The Leotard Episode: Part Deux
  4. The Leotard Episode
  5. NCAA Championships: A Victory for Execution (and Curses)

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