The fear.

The anger.

No matter where we come from, no matter who we are, all humans are bound together by the irrepressible storm of pain and fury we experience whenever anyone assumes the telltale position.

The wolf turn.

Man’s greatest predator.

Our fear of it is instinctive, animalistic, coded in our DNA. Like all primates, human beings inherently mistrust the wolf turn as a defense mechanism to ensure eye preservation. It’s just too dangerous. Too unflattering. In all contexts. Always. For everyone. There’s a reason no one looks at the Mona Lisa and says, “This would be nicer if she were squatting.”

But I believe we can be better than this. We can rise above our basest instincts and, through a process of exposure therapy, shrug off our irrational fear of the wolf and embrace it for what it truly is: a hilarious disasterpiece that may be gymnastics’ greatest gift of all.

And with so much material, how could we ever tire of our newest friend?

At Secret Classic alone, it brought us the old Texas two-step…

That was a double. What? Shut up. Ending pose!

The ingredients are 1.5 cups wolf turn, and half a cup “grandma’s vertigo is getting worse.”

The 1.5 wolf turn can also be connected directly to Surfin’ USA for 0.2 CV.

Got it, got it, got it, got it, STOP CRAP. Continue reading When Wolf Turns Go Bad →