Last week, we were teased with a trailer for the Simone movie—Courage To Soar. And like a fool, I didn’t even do a shot-by-shot recap of this minute-long wilderness experience. Let this be an opportunity to make amends. I have the courage to sour. I mean soar. Yeah that.
We open with Betty Gossip-Pajamas, who has come to Simone’s room to ask Simone about Simone maybe possibly wanting to go to “the actual Olympics QUESTION MARK?????”
Simone wants to go to the actual Olympics???
She wants to go to the fake Olympics.
Like a fake gymnast.
Pull your ass together.
She’s good enough, too. Because Jocelyn Shoulder-Angle is vaulting a U-shaped something-or-other—cut together with obvious floor tumbling—which will inevitably be whoosh-whooshed into a perfect Amanar.
Simone’s Whoosh-manar is perfect enough to get her an invite to the prestigious Karolyi Ranch If It Were Nice, where no chalk has ever been.
This is what gyms look like.
Simone sees Kytra Tricase-Raisman perform this *gasp* DOUBLE PIKE and immediately quits gymnastics forever out of intimidation. Continue reading Simone Biles: Courage To Sour — The Trailer