Things Are Happening – September 9, 2016

A. Raisman 2020 – For a More Brestyan-Legs Tomorrow

Deviating from the mandatory “Blurp blurp, I don’t know, I want to, we’ll see…” answer regarding returning for another Olympic cycle, that rebel Aly Raisman pretty categorically told Ellen that she has already decided to try to give 2020 a shot.

Well, I should emend that. Aly wasn’t that sure, but then her Brestyan Legs went, “We wants the PRECIOUSES…” so Aly had no choice but to agree. Being immortal and indestructible, the Brestyan Legs have no problem with the idea of continuing well into Aly’s mid-20s for a third Olympic cycle, though I do fear that absolute power is beginning to corrupt them. This hubris is dangerous.

I was about to make some comment about the four-gymnast team format for 2020 making it harder for Raisman to get a spot on the main team because of bars, but…guh. Who even knows anymore? Too early. I don’t even care yet.

B. The Romania Saga: Book 9

Romanian gymnastics, seen here


has taken the first step in Operation Be Less Terrible by reappointing Forminte as head coach and relocating the primary senior training center back to Deva to be closer to the candle-cup cathedral of gymnastics prayers. Phew. Remember last time Forminte was in charge, when he was the Great Satan of Romanian gymnastics because his watch had seen them fall to disgustingly lowly positions like third and fourth? YUCK THIRD. Now he’s basically Martha + Alexandrov x Arkayev.

Most of the team will train with Forminte in Deva, but Ponor, Iordache, and Ocolisan will be allowed to continue having lives, while Bulimar and Zarzu have been sent to a nice farm upstate their home gyms. For details and optimism, Lauren has an excellent write-up.

I have no problem at all with splitting the senior team up and having them training in multiple places. In this, I wonder if they’re finally seeing the untenability of a centralized system in modern gymnastics, when actual adults are more and more necessary and successful. Imagine going to Ponor and being like, “If you want to continue, you have to move back to Deva right now to live with a bunch of fourteen year olds.” For Ponor’s reaction, see the bowl of cereal above.

Not to be too YOU HAVE TO DO IT LIKE MARTHA about things, but I do hope they’ll have Ponor and Iordache come to Deva for periodic camps with the full team while otherwise training independently. It would make sense.

C. No, Toni

Don’t worry, I absolutely haven’t stopped laughing and won’t ever. This is what happens when you make gymnasts try ball sports. That throw went sideways.

Although to be fair, those Aly Raisman and Madison Kocian first pitches that everyone was sharing were total Mr. Burns throws themselves. They just happened to be somewhere in the vicinity of the plate.


Two Simpsons gifs in one post! Mission accomplished.

But just…in the future…gymnasts…try not to baseball. It won’t go well for you.

D. GymCastic

You can listen to this week’s new episode from the handy-dandy GymCastic box on this very page (or you know, subscribe on iTunes), in which we discuss tattoo problems, Gabby’s mouth, Aimee’s move, the USAG sexual assault scandal, the new code, Kupets crawling around on the floor, and our favorite underappreciated routines from Rio.

E. NCAA rosters/schedules

It’s that time of year again, when teams post photos of their 85,000 freshmen and we play the old game How Many of You Will Still Be Here Next Year? Leading the pack, Oregon State brings in 10 freshmen this season to UCLA’s 9(ish?). It’s a gigantic upset for UCLA not to have the most freshman walk-ons in the Pac-12. A dynasty broken.

For Oregon State, Erika Aufiero is back for a 5th season after missing all of last year. She can provide a useful full on vault and a 9.9 on bars. The returns of Aufiero and Dessaints, in addition to all those freshmen, should rather noticeably reconstruct the vault and bars lineups from last year’s group.

The schedules are also beginning to trickle in, our annual reminder that colleges apparently need to teach a refresher course on what time zones are because…………

We’ll have a better view of the schedules in the coming weeks, but we already know that Oklahoma snatched up all the neutral-site JO-extravaganza meets, as usual, and the SEC is setting up its slate of big-name juicy meets quite nicely. It will begin on the very first day of the season, with Georgia visiting LSU on Friday, January 6. LSU then heads to Alabama on January 13, Florida heads there on February 3, Georgia visits Florida on February 10, and Florida goes to LSU on March 3.

Your move, Pac-12.

F. More beam D scores

I’m going to do another edition of giving current beam routines the 2017 code treatment, so if you have requests of routines you’d like to see, shout them out. No need to shout Iordache or Ragan Smith. They’ll be there.

Some people have asked about the other events, but since the CV permutations are unchanged on bars and floor, there isn’t all that much going on there other than composition requirement decreases.

11 thoughts on “Things Are Happening – September 9, 2016”

  1. Frag’s super-high D routine if she ever actually hit it, and isn’t Dipa also actually decent on beam? Either way, it would be interesting to see what some more middle-of-the-pack sets would get to see if these changes actually bring the top closer to the middle or if everyone loses.

  2. I have a request for beam 2017 treatment
    The Turkish girl that almost made finals
    We have to talk about her, she’s everything

  3. Brestyan’s is getting a new Bars coach, correct? Could the new coach help Aly improve her Bars, or is the damage done with her, can we teach an old dog new tricks?

  4. Can u do Shawn Johnson beam routine? I think it will have a great D because of the full in dismount and the C+C+C mixed connection

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