The Balance Beam Situation

Because gymnastics is a comedy, not a drama


A few bits and pieces from around the NCAA world as we stand around waiting for the season to start.

-The coaches poll isn’t out yet. There is rarely rhyme or reason to when it is released each year. I think it has to do with the winter solstice, or the second waning moon after the SEC coaches slaughter a lamb at the altar of Mercury or something like that. I don’t know, it’s in the CoP.

-Gymcastic is beginning a series explaining the requirements of women’s NCAA gym in preparation for the season. It’s a must-read for newer fans and a good refresher for old, jaded wretches as well. 

-Some of the coaches are being very good boys and girls this year and releasing tons of videos. Others are electing to promote their teams and the sport via telepathy and the power of having no regrets.

-Minnesota scores bonus points for giving us every routine from a recent intrasquad. The program earns enough of my good will from this that I will refrain from dissecting how dire the bars situation appears. (But . . . ) A lot of people seem to be missing. In happier affairs, here’s Lindsay Mable being all excellent on beam:

-Dave Kuzara is also giving us everything we could have hoped for in terms of Michigan videos. There’s a bunch of good stuff there, but I’m including Austin Sheppard’s bars in particular. Where did this come from?

-Utah is sticking some vaults. And training some others that we’ll never see in competition.

-Alabama feels the need to give a little name to each of the videos (“Two for Tuesday,” “WOW Wednesday,” “Magic Monday”) and that makes my personality hurt. I do, however, approve of Sarah Demeo’s piked double arabian.

What if I instituted a gymnastics swear jar, but instead of swearing, people had to put in a dollar every time they said, “You got this!” I would live in a damn castle by now.

-Auburn is also there.

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