A. The Thormanar
Because it’s getting to the point where Eythora Thorsdottir sneezes and it’s the most elegant thing to happen in your entire life, I’ll start this week with the video of Thorsdottir training an Amanar (in case you couldn’t tell we’re in the offseason).
So…it’s actually not horrifically unrealistic.
If you’re like me, when you clicked on “Eythora Thorsdottir Amanar” you kind of expected it to be one of those videos where they complete a full twist after they’re already sideways in the pit and then are like, “I have an Amanar!” You don’t. You don’t have an Amanar. This actually could be a real thing given time.
B. SEC Network Schedule
Following the Pac-12’s lead, the SEC Network has announced its coverage plans for 2017, which feature more meets on TV and fewer online—at least so far—compared to last season. I assume other online meets, especially against non-conference opponents, will be confirmed and added later. For instance, Georgia hosts Utah on March 11th, and we’re going to need to see that somehow, K? K. It should basically be simulcast on every network like the debates.
Note one significant change to the original schedule: that nest of juicy meets previously scheduled for the evening of Friday, March 3rd has been moved to Sunday, March 5th in the afternoon, probably because the normal “Friday Night Heights” (I just can’t…) time slot conflicts with some drab nonsense sport. You’ll notice there are no TV meets at all the weekend of March 10th because that’s when the SEC Bouncy Orange Circle Championship happens.
Overall, that amounts to 19 live TV sessions. The Pac-12 is like, “Let me show you my 30.” Fight. Fight. Fight. Fight. In other pointless information presented only to stoke fan resentment and blame, here’s how the live TV meets break down by school on each network.
Georgia – 6
Alabama – 6
Florida – 6
LSU – 5
Auburn – 4
Arkansas – 4
Missouri – 2
Kentucky – 1
UCLA – 8
Utah – 7
Cal – 7
Washington – 6
Oregon State – 6
Arizona State – 6
Arizona – 6
Stanford – 5
The Pac-12 uses its extra time slots to pretend like all the schools are created equal and deserve equal time. The SEC is not bothered. “One for Kentucky, bye.” Yes, Arizona State will be on TV this year more than LSU. Enjoy.
C. NCAA training
LSU shared some pretty extensive training footage on all four events this week, mostly revealing that no one knows how to spell intrasquad. Hooray college!
That’s Kennedi Edney with the 1.5 on vault, just to preemptively answer your question. Ruby Harrold also appears to have gone the Erin Macadaeg route on beam and dropped down to my arch nemesis, the gainer pike dismount. The double tuck dismount was never Ruby’s best friend, so she switched to the gainer “layout” full off the end of the beam for 2016. I suppose this was the natural progression for NCAA. Still…
Expect Tessen and Reinstadtler to make that Utah bars lineup this year.
And here’s Maggie Nichols casually doing a legitimate 9.9+ bars routine.
Legs together on a shap 1/2!
This week, we have a double dose of my blogcasts, featuring this summer’s recaps of The Ranch and KAROLYI. You can listen at the box on this page, on those specific posts, or on the GymCastic website. So basically there’s no excuse not to enjoy my glorious vocal tones and aggressive breathing sounds.
We’ll be back next week with a commissioned episode taking a deep dive into the 1992 Olympics. I’ll probably have some opinions.
E. Chinese happenings
The Szombie World Challenge Cup finished up last weekend with China dominating proceedings. In the event finals, Liu Jinru hit her rudi to win vault, Xie Yufen got her 6.5 D back to win bars, Lyu Jiaqi and Emily Little tied for gold on beam, and Dorina Boczogo broke 13 (!) to win floor.
Liu Jinru is theoretically a good floor worker but had a difficult time at this event with the whole “trying not to get all the OOB deductions” thing and finished last with 11.466. If you recall, Liu was China’s last-standing alternate for the Olympics after everyone else broke. So…yikes?
Chinese individual nationals are also going on this week, and some podium training and qualification videos have started to appear.
F. Ding dong the witch is dead
infamous storied reign of lunatic racist President Bruno Grandi is finally sadly coming to an end after 20 long short years overseeing the systematic leprous shriveling unbridled growth and prosperity of the sport of gymnastics.
By the time we reconvene here for next week’s post, a new FIG president will have been elected. Those running for the position are UEG president and 1972 Olympian Georges Guelzec, secretary general of the Japanese federation Morinari Watanabe, and a box of trash. Box of trash is leading the latest tracking polls.
The election will take place on the 19th (Japan time). Here is Watanabe’s weird, lost-in-translation “family” proposal for the FIG—but he won my vote with the section about increased use of technology in judging and the fact that he appears to have a proposal. Here is an unsatisfying (French language) interview with Guelzec about his nothing. So I’m also still considering box of trash’s platform.