NCAA Training Is Happening – December 9, 2016

A. Training

We’re firmly ensconced in the “getting ready for NCAA season while nothing is actually happening” portion of the year, so that’s pretty much all there is. Other than Dipa Karmakar probably not competing the Prod anymore because of the devalue. So…the WTC finally did something right? When’s the parade?

Anyway, Kyla Ross’s Omelianchik is starting to look pretty competitiony. We’ll see how Hano’s landing on the 1.5 comes along. UCLA needs both vaults with the strength of a nova.

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This is the Sabrina Schwab bars video that I was making fun for its soundtrack on this week’s GymCastic. But also excellent execution.


That thing where your tape makes it look like you just suffered a really tragic tattoo decision.

Michigan has an extended look at the team with some notes on potential areas of contribution:

“17 of 24 rotations.” So close.

“Polina Shishenko.” Not that close.

Note Emma McLean’s new 1.5.

Oh, that’s not how vault goes, sweetie.


B. Preseason showcases
It’s also preseason showcase time, where the teams get out in front of sevens of people to make sure they’re used to the equipment and competition schedule/procedures.

Auburn held its event last weekend and provided a few nonspecific highlights.

Meanwhile Lizzy Leduc, I mean also definitely an entire team, showed what Illinois has to offer through the medium of Lizzy Leduc routines.

Oh, NCAA floor routines. They’re like elite floor routines except you also get to rub yourself and thrust toward the vicinity of the floor.

Today (Friday), Oklahoma will be holding a public intrasquad that we don’t get to see, but Utah will be holding the annual Red Rocks Preview that we definitely do get to see on the Pac-12 Network at 9ET/6PT. I’m pretty interested to see how a preseason exhibition works on TV with commentators. “She’ll want to bottle that one and save it for the regular season!” Never mind, I guess that’s how it works.

Anyway, all the cool kids are going to watch because…a preseason exhibition. On TV. What life is this?

Pre-meet, Skinner, Reinstadtler, Rowe, Schwab, and Merrell are slated to show us the AA.

But that’s not all!

On Saturday at 4ET/1PT, you can watch Michigan and Eastern Michigan in their preseason meet online, link here.

Then on Monday at 7:30ET/4:30PT, you can also watch LSU’s Gymnastics 101 online, link here.

C. Toyota International

In elite land, December’s annual Toyota International of Japan will bestow itself upon us once again this weekend, featuring the entire slate of top Japanese elites (except for Kohei because psssh, my trophies) along with Emily Little and Georgia-Rose Brown from Australia and a Russian trio of Melnikova, Akhaimova, and the rest of Seda Tutkhalyan. Because why? Just to finish her off? Spite? Both?

D. GymCastic

This week we discussed…Oleg Verniaiev’s vaginal yeast infection? Why is unclear. It’s just one of those things that happened. No regrets.

But also artistry tricks, Cottbus, conflicts of interest at the FIG (WHAT NEVER), how much money Laurie Hernandez should give us, and the weekly sexual assault update because GUHHHHHHHH.

E. Reese’s Cup

URGENT: USAG is uploading the old Reese’s competitions to YouTube.

If you’re interested in just dying for the next two minutes, “enjoy”:

Item 1: Oh gross, Al. Keep it in your home swamp. What even are you?

Item 2: Fixed? You mean like spayed?

Item 3: The hand jive? Way to keep up with the hip trends.

Item 4: “I did a search one time…on the web.” WHAT THE FUTURE IS HERE, Tim!!!!


Item 6: “Unofficial Dominique Moceanu websites.” Ew. Also, I feel like the subheading for this site should be “unofficial Dominique Moceanu website.” How badly do you want to read those right now?

Item 7: THIS IS ILLEGAL. THIS IS BREAKING THE RULES. Those really serious rules. Tim is going to take his ball and go home so that no one can play! No pretending to sex the baseball players, Dominique!

Item 8:
“Err…when do I get paid?”


7 thoughts on “NCAA Training Is Happening – December 9, 2016”

      1. Thanks. However, I notice that the article also says “Dipa however will try to continue Skuhara and Produnova”, in addition to the new vault, which is a HS-layout 1.5 (or a Chusovitina II, iirc) and the article also says “Dipa and her coach is scheduled to resume training of Produnova in New Delhi from the early of next month.”

  1. Speaking as someone who watched that entire Reese’s Cup, please do a recap of it. PLEASE. Also all of the Reese’s Cups because obviously you have no other obligations or responsibilities in your life.

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