Savannah Tharp revolutionized bootography

Archimedes Burgess saluted the principle of center of gravity

And Kara Houdini made a front double full appear as if by magic

Meanwhile, Derrian nearly walked out of bounds

But her brother pointed the way back in line

We tried to hear Suni’s new floor routine

Morgan Hurd did a savage impression of everyone else’s twisting ring positions

And this is the most running anyone should ever do at one time

7 of the top 10 teams set or matched a season low this week

As everyone saw their beam rotations coming like

To receive credit, a split element must show 180 teammates’ heads

And it’s the little kicks that keep you on the beam

UCLA is wearing hair ribbons now and Miss Val was like

Then Val turned around and asked who made that joke and I was like

They said “back tuck dismount,” but Helen Hu heard “Pak tuck dismount”

They said “aerial to scale,” and Jordan Chiles said, you mean this?

They said “do a cartwheel,” and Cristal Isa said no

And they said “stay in bounds,” and Madi Dagen said everything
