Savannah Tharp revolutionized bootography
Archimedes Burgess saluted the principle of center of gravity
And Kara Houdini made a front double full appear as if by magic
Meanwhile, Derrian nearly walked out of bounds
But her brother pointed the way back in line
We tried to hear Suni’s new floor routine
Morgan Hurd did a savage impression of everyone else’s twisting ring positions
And this is the most running anyone should ever do at one time
7 of the top 10 teams set or matched a season low this week
As everyone saw their beam rotations coming like
To receive credit, a split element must show 180 teammates’ heads
And it’s the little kicks that keep you on the beam
UCLA is wearing hair ribbons now and Miss Val was like
Then Val turned around and asked who made that joke and I was like
They said “back tuck dismount,” but Helen Hu heard “Pak tuck dismount”
They said “aerial to scale,” and Jordan Chiles said, you mean this?
They said “do a cartwheel,” and Cristal Isa said no
And they said “stay in bounds,” and Madi Dagen said everything
