The Balance Beam Situation

Because gymnastics is a comedy, not a drama

Event Finals Day 3 Live Blog

Today’s action features the event finals on Bicep Crash, Competitive Lowering Your Arms Slowing In The Corner, and Man Plummet, some of the most anticipated action of the whole Olympics.

And we’re all just going to pretend like this isn’t the last day of the Olympics so that we don’t have to deal with that emotionally. Agreed. Done.

Starting order
PBars – Leyva, Muntean, Deng, You, Belyavskiy, Verniaiev, Larduet, Kato
Floor – Murakami, Wang, Fasana, Tinkler, Biles, Steingruber, Raisman, Ferrari
HBar – Hambuechen, Zonderland, Wilson, Mikulak, Verniaiev, Barretto, Larduet, Leyva

Boo to the high bar order. Way too front-loaded. What’s the point of anything after Truffula Tree goes in the second spot?

But first, parallel bars. The opportunity for Jon to see if he can break the record for number of times identifying the Bhavsar in a half-hour period.

PBars final

Oh Kohei, you dork. Waving for the camera. I love what a dork he is. More than his gymnastics.

One of the coaches tripped while trying to cross himself. Ha.

-Is Danell going to medal?
-Nope!

LOL. Well played.

Danell’s hair chalk looks particularly like dandruff today. I want Yin to kiss me on the forehead before I try anything.

Leyva – diamidov, one rail, very good hs positions early – traveling a bit with hand placements here and there but this is quite clean – STICKS double front. Excellent routine. His best for a while. 15.900.

Muntean – struggles to hold a peach to one rail, muscles it back but an excellent save – much slower rhythm than Leyva – BHAVSAR COUNT 1 – pretty precise though, hop on double pike. 15.600. Scores appear to be going high. Same E as Leyva. 9.000.

Deng – long hold on opening hs – love his saltos, that doubble half – ooh, wonkified a pirouette there with an arch – HE DID A BHAVAR AND JON DIDN’T IDENTIFY IT YOU’RE NOT EVEN TRYING – double pike hop back. 15.766. 8.566 E, that one pirouette did him in and the pretty big hop on landing. Loses piked shape on dismount in second salto on replay.

You – very strong double pike – good rhythm through double back – double back half – very small arch in a turning skill there but this is excellent – Jon missed his second Bhavsar identification already – a couple arches and a couple moments of strength – double front 1/2 – FALLS. Wow. Danell is like, “Don’t smile, don’t smile, don’t smile.” 14.833.

Belyavskiy – chalk dandruff isn’t quite as bad as Leyva’s – very strong peach to one – very smooth in pirouettes and tippelt variations – very short hs to one rail in there – double front 1/2, hop back – should be a very strong score, but into only 2nd. 15.783. Same D as Leyva, lost it on execution.

Danell is busy planning his “remember that time I wasn’t on the team?” love note to Kevin Mazeika.

Oleg – arches on a peach half but saves it well – another large arch – Oleg! – #tiredOleg – nothing too major but a couple of arches and slight adjustments on handstands – double front 1/2 stuck! 16.041. Lower E than Leyva but a higher D.

Larduet – peach to one is good – huge break in leg form early in the routine, legs go all Nabieva – sticks double front 1/2! Very strong routine, but that large hs form error will send him down. 15.625. Out of the medals.

Kato – the day of the arched handstands – he has another – a few too many hs errors for him as well, though no less porcelain than usual so it’s fine – step back on dismount. 15.233.

Gold: Verniaiev
Silver: Leyva
Bronze: Belyavskiy

Oleg going full Oleg feelings.

We’ll have to wait to decide whether Danell’s medal is a good argument for the US men taking a more individual-medal strategy or for the US men taking a more holistic, nationals-results-aren’t-everything approach. Or neither. Because it’s just one medal. Whatever.

To Simone time on floor.

FLOOR

Mai – double double mount, good control on landing, stays in – very short DLO full with a lunge – 2.5 to lay full, hop – completely falls out of a double wolf and rolls around and pretends she meant to and she’s my hero – best thing ever. Double pike, small slide. 14.533. D is 6.3.

Wang – I just can’t with this routine – very good control on double double, small slide and chest down – 1/5 to 3/1 to punch front, one of the better completions on that nonsense China has shown so far – 2.5 to half, solid – switch ring – a little flat on swithc 1/2 – hop on double pike. 14.666.

Jon is baffled by E scores. I’m really rooting for Courtney to be like, “Well, on women’s floor, they actually care about execution.”

Fasana – double double, chest quite low but sticks it, DLO shortish with a hop forward – low on some leaps – good straddle position – short double pike, hop. 14.533. Same as Mai. Everyone bunched. Let’s get NOT ENOUGH SEPARATION going.

Tinkler – DLO 1/1, a bit piked in her shape and a bounce back – double double, also solid control and a very low chest, as most of the gymnasts have had so far – 1.5 to double back, chest down again slide – good stick on double pike. 14.933. Huge result for her! Best difficulty score so far.

Biles – DLO 1/1 with hop back, excellent shape and amplitude obviously – Biles to split, more uncontrolled on this landing than usual but covered well into split, does not roll out of her wolf turn like a proper gymnast – split 1.5 is all the way around – very strong double double – large bounce on her full in – not her best landings, but also like whatever. 15.966. Ahead by only a point.

She’s like, “I’M FINALLY DONE.”

Steingruber – stumbles out of opening leap – double double to handstand! NOOOOO. Giulia, this life. Sticks an excellent DLO after that. Hand down again. Goodbye forever.

Raisman – 1.5 through to double arabian to layout with her customary hop forward to just stay in bounds – L turn is fine but not “best ever” like in AA – strong Dos Santos – a little bouncy in some dance elements early – nails DLO – double pike small bounce. She has been absolutely excellent through this Olympics. 15.500.

Tinkles is like, “Well crap.”

Courtney is having none of Jon saying Aly’s routine was better than Simone’s. It’s a very men’s gymnastics approach. Aly’s landings were better, but Simone’s dance elements and body position keep her ahead.

Ferrari – double double, small bounce – DLO, legs apart but strong and secure landing – full in is short with a bounce forward – drops a bit out of double y, doesn’t complete two full – split position low – deep landing on double pike with a stumble back, that should decide things –

Yep. Into 4th with a 14.766.

TINKLERRRRRRRRRR

Gold: Biles
Silver: Raisman
Bronze: Tinkler

Ferrari 4th again, and apparently she’s done after this. Italian gymnastics should be begging her to stick around. They still absolutely need these routines.

Simone Biles only won four gold medals you guys. BUT HOW IS SHE GOING TO GET REDEMPTION FROM THIS?!?!?!?!

18 medals awarded in women’s gymnastics. 9 for the US, 4 for Russia, 1 each for China, Switzerland, Germany, Netherlands, and Great Britain.

One more to go!

HBAR FINAL

Fabian! Epke! People!

The tanning difference between Nile and Sam is hilarious.

FABIAN – catches cassina – Kolman is solid – layout tkatchev to straight rybalko – stalder rybalko is as crazy as all of them are – somewhat late on hop but little things – nearly stuck dismount, came up too quickly and had to step back. 15.766. Got too excited on that dismount and will actually incur a lot for that, because swam also before stepping back.

EPKE – cassina connected to kovacs and he’s down – I think people got scared because he laid down flat and didn’t move, but he’s back up – did he smack himself on the head? Now he’s going for all the crazy Epke legs we ever could have wanted – sticks Double Double layout. He does have a big splotch on his forehead.

Yikes – replay of the fall is worse than the actual fall looked in real time – looked like some whiplash when he landed and then slapped his head on the mat.

Nile – Oh wait there are still other people? Cassina good rhythm – same on Kolman – late on full turn, but I never know when it’s Actual Late or Man Late. Double double layout with a stick. 15.466. Got Fabian on execution (deservedly), but Fabian had .5 more D.

Mikulak – cassina and he caught it it’s a high bar miracle – catches Kolman as well – good hs position on full – tkatchev half – late jam and a couple late finishes – hop on dismount. 15.400. Same D as Nile, just a tad behind on E.

Oleg – layout tkatchev 1/2 – good hs positions – tkatchev half – very late on a pirouette here – tries to muscle up a handstand but just can’t – and then hands down on his dismount. He was 17 kinds of done after winning PBars.

Jon’s like “I could have medaled.”

Barretto – layout tkatchev 1/2 – layout tkatchev, tkatchev 1/2 – some legs and hs – DLO 1/1 with a hop. 15.208 and into 4th. 8.3 in E. Mikulak and Wilson were at 8.6s.

Larduet – lay taktchev 1/2 – lay tkatchev – tkatchev 1/2 – a little close on a catch – a couple late hs but nothing major – triple double with small hop – that’s more the Manrique we saw last year. Hmmm. 15.033. Slammed on execution, more than anyone else. Get ready for your outrage.

Leyva – stoop full a little late – layout Kovacs is excellent – catches Kolman a bit close – crazy stalder rybalko – wonky hs and a bunch of moments of legs – just trying to endure – hop back on dismount. Too sloppy. And yet second with a 15.500. I don’t understand at all. But also the men’s HB deductions. I’ve never understood. So that’s nothing new. Yay Danell? Yay Danell. Great.

Gold: Hambuechen
Silver: Leyva
Bronze: Wilson

FABIANNNNNNNNNNN.

Mikulak leaves with no medals, missing out on HB bronze by less than a tenth.

Another medal for GB!

I’m not OK with there being no other events. But we’ll need to be ALL OVER that nonsense gala tomorrow. So we still have that to cling to.

 

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