The Balance Beam Situation

Because gymnastics is a comedy, not a drama

Things Are (Barely) Happening – October 7, 2016

A. Szombathely World Cup

The World Cup circuit is back. I can hear your enthusiasm from here. This weekend, twos of gymnasts have traveled to Szombathely, Hungary (and if you haven’t started calling this the Szombie World Cup, then we’re getting a divorce) where they will gather together and BERKI.

Sorry, I got distracted because that’s really the only thing happening at this event. Krisztian “The Legs” Berki has returned to competition following his reign as Mr. Exemplification of the Flaws of the Olympic Qualification System 2016. He and Larisa Iordache wore their tiaras quite well. And…he’s still good at pommel horse. Great. Check.

Other competitors include Emily Little (performing a DTY), Xie Yufen (China’s second-tier bars queen who can do a 6.5 D but got 6.3 here), and apparently not Bai Yawen, who was on the entry list but did not compete in today’s qualification because she hates you.

Olympic alternate Liu Jinru is also trying to get herself into the China conversation by way of having a rudi. She also theoretically has a 5.9 on floor but got 5.3 here.

This is actually a World Challenge Cup, which means that the top 8 qualifiers on each event must challenge each other to a duel (using pistols, sabres, or chickens—athletes’ choice) in order to see which four ultimately advance to the event finals.

B. Pac-12 TV Schedule

One significant item you’ll note is all those simultaneous UCLA and Utah meets. They’ll be divided by regional network, so Pac-12 LA will get all the UCLA meets and Pac-12 Mountain will get all the Utah meets. Ideally, they would be back-to-back in a regular weekly time slot instead of forcing (non-crazy, non-us) fans to watch/DVR only one of the two. But you know, 30 live meets. What will be interesting to see is which meets the Pac-12 chooses put on the national network (a.k.a., which team is more important and therefore better). Enjoy your fan war. I’ll be over here.

Also, the Red Rocks Preview is going to be on Pac-12 Net as well. The preseason exhibition is live on TV. That’s like…what happens in football.

In other schedule news, I’m kind of worried about San Jose State. SJSU released its schedule all early like a good little team and was supposed to have a meet against Alaska on Jan. 20th, but Alaska was like, “NOPE.” No matter, there’s still that meet on Jan. 22nd against UCLA. Then UCLA was like, “NOPE ALSO.” At this rate, SJSU is going to have one meet this season. Why won’t anyone sit with San Jose State?

C. NCAA Training

Let’s see….what’s happening in NCAA news…


Besides that.

Chayse Capps is things. It’s at the point now where I don’t even need to watch it to be in love with it.

KJ and I watch floor routines with exactly the same facial expression and body language.

Alex McMurtry reminds us that she can 10.0 SV too. Kind of a lot.


And trendsetting UCLA wants us to know that drop split is the new stag jump.


D. GymCastic

This week, we had some fun disagreeing with feedback, performing a series of accents, getting confused about World Cup events (but agreeing that they need more wildlife), and just generally solving all of the world’s problems in the span of an hour. Like usual.

Next week, look out for a few audio versions of some more of my posts. Good ones. I promise.

E. Sam Mikulak

Because TOUR, Sam Mikulak did seven tkatchevs directly connected to an impression of himself at every major competition.

I kid. I kid because…I’m actually not kidding but I like him anyway so it’s fine.

Also, here’s a GIF of it in reverse, which I think we all needed.


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