Live, Laugh, Nabieva

In honor of Tatiana Nabieva returning to the Russian national team and being announced as part of the Universiade squad, let’s spend a vital moment or two appreciating our first and (to date) only fully sarcastic gymnastics career. The woman who invented doing elite gymnastics as a prank, Tatiana Nabieva.

Noted primarily for her two most famous inventions, 1) the layout Tkatchev on bars

and 2) fierce investment in floor choreography

Nabieva is actually so much more.

She is a dance icon.

A fighter.

A slapstick comedian.

And a master of endurance.

In addition to her innovative work on bars

She invented a beam mount.

Became the code’s exemplar of creative work into the corner.

Originated the Yurchenko triple full

And authored an iconoclastic treatise that all twisting need not be completed before landing

She has taught us how to appropriately enter a room

How to show that you care

How to stay present

And not just go through the motions

How to live with grace

And maturity

How to stay on course

Surf every wave

And always finish on a high

Because of that, Tatiana Nabieva, I choose you.

OK it’s over.

16 thoughts on “Live, Laugh, Nabieva”

  1. Thank you for this. I live for the wedgie picking choreography. That will catch on one of these days…

  2. Spencer, your artistry with the written word is only eclipsed by Nabs’… personality filled?.. gymnastics. Thank you for making me smile on a real crappy day.

    1. Yeah, Nabs is the anti-NCAA gymnast. Can you even imagine this girl at UCLA doing floor? It’s too bad that she gives zero shizz about choreography, because she could do some fierce stuff if she cared. But she’s outlasted everyone on the Russian national team except for Mustafina. She won’t beat you, but Nabs will outlast you. I adore this girl. I hope she wins AA gold at Universiade.

  3. Oh Spencer, yet another masterpiece! Thanks for making me laugh hysterically!

  4. Pulitzer level ! I must say this convinced me that Nabz is the GOAT! I’m so bored by Simone’s perfection . I’d rather hang with Nabz any day!

  5. “Only fully sarcastic gymnastics career” is so accurate.

    Nabs does whatever she wants. I used to think it was sad that she never realized her full potential in the form of tons of medals but now I’m just impressed that she doesn’t give a fuck and does gymnastics because she wants to.

  6. Can’t say I’ve ever commented on anything before, but this- this is ART! By far the hardest I’ve laughed reading anything gymnastics related. Thank you.

  7. I’ve loved Nabs ever since she sat a few rows behind me that time Euros were in Moscow. She would shout encouraging words at pretty much every competitor, was the loudest singer in the arena whenever the Russian anthem was playing, and when she wasn’t shouting she would aggressively make out with her boyfriend (who totally grabbed her boobs in front of thousands of people). A true legend.

  8. Nabz is a fucking national treasure. I want her on all the teams.

  9. This is freaking brilliant. I laughed my arse off. Thank you so much for keeping us entertained!

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