After much fanfare, a revolutionary new outfit for men’s gymnastics was unveiled

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Make it law

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The 2025 US Men’s Nationals Collection

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Zoey said bring back low bar dismounts

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Hard to learn!

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And the Anastasia Webb Award for going OOB on choreography…

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Over in NCAA, one judge gave Boozer 9.550 with a fall

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Just…immediate jail

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Cottbus was a little

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So in the interest of athlete safety, this is just vault now

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Also this is floor now

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I’m sorry

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Your new floor music is just thigh slaps

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The correct reaction to victory: disgust

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I repeat: utter disgust

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High fives are too hard, just hug

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Faith, summarize NCAA gymnastics

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And I’m done. That’s all I needed.

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Sure