Tag Archives: Elise Ray

Things Are Happening – May 27, 2016

1. Some European gentlemen are here

Qualification has concluded at Boy European Championships, and as expected, Russia and Great Britain qualified well ahead of the rest of the field and will be fighting it out on Saturday to see who can take the moodiest team selfie. I mean…win a gold medal? Or something?

The title probably should have been Great Britain’s to lose, but following the withdrawal of Max Whitlock, the Fightin’ Faded Empires have had to put up a few D scores in the 5.8-6.0 range that they wouldn’t normally have expected to use. So, in spite of a qualification performance much cleaner and less Russiay than Russia’s, Great Britain trails by seven tenths and, in the team final, will need to rely on Russia to be very Russiay in several of the most Russian places in order to come away with the title.

Team Oleg and Team Pablo Braegger’s Earring also emerged from qualification within a reasonable range of each other and should duel for bronze. Meanwhile, Romania got a 1 on high bar and will be using Ponor from here on out.

In event news, there will be no Hungarians in the pommel horse final, no Germans in the HBar final, and Stepko didn’t make PBars, so…what is this world? Verniaiev made four events finals, just missing rings and pommel horse because they’re the stupidest. Denis Abliazin also missed out on the floor final after going OOB, because of course he did. If gymnasts could get deductions named after themselves, a 0.3 neutral deduction for going out of bounds on floor would be the Abliazin.

Also, we really need to start naming deductions. “She hits the Jaeger, but will get a Raisman.” “The judges will deduct for Chelle Stack on those back handsprings.”

In the junior event, One-Direction-haired little cherub Giarnni Regini-Moran continued being New Tom Daley and is really forcing us to have to try to remember how to spell his first name by nearly Bilesing the field to win the all-around.

2. The Classic roster of secrets

Fitting its name, the announcement of the Secret Classic roster was shrouded in mystery yesterday when shortly after its release, both Bailie Key and Norah Flatley were quietly removed from the list. Conspiracy. Government denies knowledge. The truth is out there. Continue reading Things Are Happening – May 27, 2016

Things Are Happening – May 20, 2016

1. Bye Rachelle

Stiletto #2 has dropped. In the wake of 700 accusations of intense terribleness, Rachelle Thompson is leaving Penn State as everyone finally seems to have realized that the situation was, you know, not OK and that there was no coming back from “toxic environment of abuse.”

Or, sorry, I mean she’s leaving to “devote more time to my family and focus on personal goals.” Yep. Mmmhmm. That’s the reason. She wanted to devote more time to her family, you guys. The timing is a coincidence.

But……just Rachelle?

Most of the issues seemed to revolve around Rachelle’s behavior in particular, but it’s clear Penn State/the Thompsons are trying to jettison Rachelle overboard in the hope that Jeff can pick up speed and pilot the ship to safety while everyone forgets about it because some action was taken, which…no. This isn’t the banking industry. TOPICAL.

If Rachelle’s behavior warranted leaving the position, then how does Jeff’s not? It took two to tango. We’re supposed to think he was completely unaware of his wife/associate head coach’s words and behavior? Sure.

And how exactly would this dynamic work going forward? “Hi, team, you forced my wife to resign. This will definitely be a positive coaching environment.”

2. The Elise Ray Era?

Stiletto Sensible work shoe #3 belongs to Joanne Bowers, who is leaving Washington because she was working all the way across the country from her husband and that seems like that would suck. But, what? You’re leaving a coaching job for normal human reasons that don’t involve a shred of scandal? What are we supposed to do with that? You couldn’t have given us a little “toxic environment” or “mysterious administrative leave”? Joanne, I’m so disappointed in you. Pull it together. Continue reading Things Are Happening – May 20, 2016