Great Moments in Gymnastics

Aliya’s Baby 2036

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Breaking news. We have just learned that, earlier this week, Aliya Mustafina gave birth to a daughter.

Well, according to Valentina this happened. So that probably means Valentina cut open the innards of a bat, added some powdered broken dreams, and the arrangement of the goop foretold the birth of an Olympic champion.

Meanwhile, Aliya ate a mango and sneezed and was like, “She said my uterus did what?”

It’s currently unclear whether the baby will be winning Olympic gold in the all-around or just the uneven bars, but the latest training videos indicate that baby Svetlana Mostepanova Omelianchik Zaitseva’s dismount work is coming along quite nicely.

UPDATE (10:21pm Moscow Time): Russian media is now reporting that Mustafina managed to connect the birth out of an Onodi for two tenths, though Nellie Kim still has to rule as to whether that truly fulfills the acro series requirement.

It’s a tough one because, if the baby displays rebounding action, does Aliya get credit by proxy? Or does only the baby get the composition requirement?

Here is Aliya training the Onodi + birth series as long ago as 2014.

UPDATE (12:17am Moscow Time): Valentina just appeared in a cloud of smoke behind a lectern to announce that she has stolen the baby, pointing to a contract signed by Aliya in 2009 while singing a lullaby to a rabbit in a meadow in which Aliya promised all children in perpetuity to Valentina should she make Aliya “the most confident and glorious of all queens.”

Continue reading Aliya’s Baby 2036 →

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Great Moments in Gymnastics

Claudia Fragapane on Beam: A GIF Tribute

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It’s going to kill us. That’s just a given at this point.

A new study suggests that Claudia Fragapane beam-panic-induced coronary embolisms are currently the third-most common reason for hospitalization among Britons under 30.

But like most unhealthy acts, it’s so worth it.

She’s not exactly afraid of some risk, this little chickadee. If it gets more than five tenths, Frags has already married it. She’ll curl herself into a ball like a little armadillo, pop into the air, and just see where she lands. Same country: optional. No one misses on beam quite like our Frags.

Girl’s not just going to wobble. She’s not going to pitifully bend and lean and hop off like it’s some Russian podium training session. No no. If Frags is going to fall, she’s going to fall.

Commitment. A good, proper, money’s-worth beam fall. That’s how you do it.

But flailing to the ground in a swirl of limbs can only get you so far in this world. (Meaning: nowhere except my heart.) Frags is more than that.

You see, with hilarious falls also come ridiculous—equally hilarious—saves. And in that world, Frags is a true master. She has bestowed upon us so many expressive works over the years. A new Picasso. Millions of viewers from all around the world have glimpsed her installations and said, “Just…how even?” Continue reading Claudia Fragapane on Beam: A GIF Tribute →

Stuff and Nonsense

Things Are Happening – June 9, 2017

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A. Ladanyi and Landi

The simple joy I get from people with similar last names being in coaching news during the same week, I can barely describe.

Item 1, Utah announced that it has lured Robert Ladanyi away from Denver to fill the assistant coach role vacated by Meredith Paulicivic when she went to Ohio State. This will be Ladanyi’s third team in four years—we know him most of all from his time in Rhonda’s Romanian Retinue at Florida, though his departure did finally help us all learn which one was Robert and which one was Adrian (kind of). A public service.  Robert is one of the star assistant coaches in NCAA gym, so his going to Utah is kind of a big deal.

Item 2, social media also informed us this week that Cecile and Laurent Landi are leaving the protective nest of WOGA to strike out into the wild blue yonder and make it on their own. Aside from Irina Alexeeva, who still seems to be in citizenship limbo, WOGA doesn’t have a crop of top, top elites pushing for major assignments right this second, so there’s perhaps not an urgent rush to see which member of Valeri’s stable of approved coaches becomes the new Captain WOGA.

Plus, I imagine there will be a group eager to follow Laurent wherever he goes. I mean a group of gymnasts. Not just you. That was already implied.

B. German Nationals

Elisabeth Seitz was the big winner at German Nationals last weekend, taking the AA, bars, and (surprisingly) beam titles. Seitz had the smallest D of anyone in the beam final but was by far the most precise. Meanwhile, Pauline Schaefer took floor, and Pauline Tratz won vault. Continue reading Things Are Happening – June 9, 2017 →

Elite Things

US National Team Camp – Who Are These People?

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We have finally emerged from the cave. Now that we are graced with rosters from the monthly national camps—like the one that concluded today—this has given birth to a new phenomenon wherein one looks at the roster, recognizes 90% of the people, but then also says, “……Her? What is a…that?”

So, let this be a place to keep track of which characters made a cameo in which of the monthly episodes; what international assignments resulted from those camps; applicable placements in senior (S), junior (J), and physical abilities (PA) standings; junior/senior status; results dossiers; most recent D-scores; and anything else important to know about these friends both familiar and foreign. Continue reading US National Team Camp – Who Are These People? →

Meet Recap

2005 World All-Around Final — Gymnastics + Math = F-

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The theme of this summer’s recapping project will be the first year of the quad. This being, you know, the first year of the quad.

Up first, the ever-controversial 2005 all-around final, the meet that taught us several important lessons regarding how basic counting of numbers works and how Tsarina Liukina just generally doesn’t have room for your shit.

Let’s meet the stars of the year 2005!

Nastia Liukin!

Some Kristal Uzelac frontal lobe!…?

I want to say…Cleo?

Oh, did I say this was 2005? Sorry, I meant 1841, apparently. Australian John Tesh christens the competition by informing us that “every girl dreams of being a princess” but tonight only “one wish will be granted.”

Oh. Oh good. We’re still doing that.

At least it’s not just a US thing…?

We’ll begin the meet on floor.

BOOP.

You guys, I know Chellsie is solid on Dress Transformation Sparkles, and I’m sure she’ll score well on Dreaming Only of Husbands, but I’m kind of worried about how competitive she’ll be on Bird Friendship.

It’s like, “Honey, stop doing those sit-ups and go to cotillion,” am I right? I mean, the whole point of this is to marry rich and wear tiaras…priorities, lady! Continue reading 2005 World All-Around Final — Gymnastics + Math = F- →

Stuff and Nonsense

Things Are Happening – June 2, 2017

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A. NCAA news

The head-coaching picture continues to fill itself in as Utah assistant Meredith Paulicivic has been named the new head at Ohio State, replacing Carey Fagan.

Team Outgoing coach Reason Incoming coach
Penn State Jeff Thompson Everything Sarah Brown
Michigan State Kathie Klages Larry Nassar
NC State Mark Stevenson Retired Kim Landrus
Georgia Danna Durante Fired Courtney Kupets
EMU Sarah Brown Fancier job
Illinois Kim Landrus …different job?
Pittsburgh Debbie Yohman Retired
Ohio State Carey Fagan Promoted Meredith Paulicivic
Alaska Paul Stoklos Retired

So it’s four down and five to go, with a significant assistant position now open at Utah as well. Tick-tock, people. June’s transparent recruiting cattle calls (I mean “summer camps”…for the kids…and the community) aren’t going to snatch all the best children provide a fun, exciting, and educational summer environment all by themselves.

You guys. This year, Georgia literally changed the name of its camp from “Gymdog Camp” to “Courtney Kupets Camp.”

Milk. That. Name recognition.

It’s like Space Camp, but instead of learning about the planets, you look at Courtney Kupets. If those kids aren’t forced to make mini Courtney Kupetses out of popsicle sticks every day, refund please.

Speaking of Courtney Kupets Camp, when are we going? Also, in actual things, Courtney announced the completion of her royal court, adding assistant coaches Charlie Tamayo and Josh Overton to her staff to do, like, the gymnastics parts or whatever. You remember Charlie Tamayo from being super good and having the layout double Arabian named after him. More recently, he was an assistant coach at Navy for the men’s team. Josh Overton has been at Chow’s and was brought on because of…Chow’s is good at bars and winning?

Oh, also this is already happening.

I’ll get the teapot.

B. National team camp

This weekend is quite a bit sparser than the last few have been in terms of actual competitions, but there’s still a bit going on.

The US women are heading back to the ranch for…national team Pride weekend? I think that’s what it is. There’s still one more pre-comp national team pool party after this one (the big July camp that also has the American Classic and the final elite qualifier), so no one’s really expected to be that good yet. Martha would want them to be at exactly 63% at this camp. And then Aly would be at 66%, and it’s like, “UGH OFF THE TEAM.”

You know it’s still not a super important camp because McCusker, Hurd, and Paulson are not in attendance.

Though we are informed that “2016 Olympic team replacement athletes Ragan Smith and Ashton Locklear are participating in the camp [so calm down you stupid goblins and don’t lose your shit on twitter, you’re fine].”

Without those words, but basically with those words.

Continue reading Things Are Happening – June 2, 2017 →

Rankings

National Team Rankings – June 2017

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How It Works
Nations are ranked by what their best possible team of five senior gymnasts would score in a hypothetical 3-up, 3-count team final, using scores recorded so far in 2017.

Individual’s scores may come from any reported elite competition this year (the four event scores need not all be from the same meet), and whichever five gymnasts would produce the highest 3-up, 3-count total with those scores is the team used.

Countries that have not shown enough senior routines so far this year to fill a 5-3-3 team on each event (i.e., Slovenia, Slovakia, South Korea) are not included.

Rankings will be updated every two months, and scores will expire after six months, meaning only scores recorded in the last half-year are eligible to be counted.

 1. UNITED STATES – 172.083
Ragan Smith 14.433 14.400 13.266 14.000
Riley McCusker 14.600 15.050 14.200 13.500
Sydney Johnson-Scharpf 14.500 13.800 11.800 14.050
Abby Paulson 13.700 14.300 14.200 13.900
Ashton Locklear 0.000 14.750 14.000 0.000

172.083

 43.533 44.200 42.400 41.950
2. RUSSIA – 170.881
Elena Eremina 14.466 14.850 14.066 13.800
Angelina Melnikova 14.466 14.400 14.050 14.100
Daria Spiridonova 13.600 14.700 13.850 13.050
Seda Tutkhalyan 14.333 13.366 13.533 13.366
Natalia Kapitonova 13.633 14.700 13.700 13.500
 170.881 43.265 44.250 41.966 41.400
3. CHINA – 170.265
Wang Yan 14.400 13.000 13.700 13.433
Luo Huan 13.650 14.533 14.750 13.150
Liu Tingting 13.700 14.366 15.300 13.566
Liu Jinru 14.550 12.550 12.250 12.850
Zhu Xiaofang 0.000 14.350 14.167 12.350
 170.265  42.650  43.249 44.217 40.149
 4. JAPAN – 170.250
Asuka Teramoto 14.900 13.950 14.250 13.200
Mai Murakami 14.800 13.500 14.200 14.250
Sae Miyakawa 15.050 11.950 12.700 13.850
Shiho Nakaji 14.000 13.500 14.000 13.450
Hitomi Hatakeda 14.234 13.900 13.200 13.600
 170.250  44.750  41.350 42.450 41.700
5. GREAT BRITAIN – 169.091
Amy Tinkler 14.600 13.725 12.566 13.233
Alice Kinsella 13.750 13.391 14.050 13.350
Ellie Downie 14.950 14.400 13.550 14.066
Georgia-May Fenton 13.350 14.900 12.050 11.650
Claudia Fragapane  0.000 0.000 13.750 14.000
 169.091  43.300 43.025 41.350 41.416
6. FRANCE – 168.365
Melanie De Jesus Dos Santos 14.366 14.450 14.233 13.150
Louise Vanhille 13.700 14.033 13.550 12.866
Marine Boyer 13.950 13.033 14.900 13.600
Juliette Bossu 13.800 13.900 12.550 13.600
Coline Devillard 14.633 10.800 12.433 12.166
 168.365  42.949 42.283 42.683 40.350
 7. GERMANY – 167.914
Kim Bui 13.750 14.533 12.733 13.400
Tabea Alt 14.466 14.350 14.066 13.500
Pauline Schaefer 14.100 13.500 13.766 13.533
Helene Schaefer 13.800 12.800 13.650 12.350
Elisabeth Seitz 13.700 14.750 13.066 0.000
 167.914 42.366 43.633 41.482 40.433
 8. CANADA – 166.437
Isabela Onyshko 13.400 12.734 14.034 13.234
Shallon Olsen 14.800 12.750 12.700 13.467
Brittany Rogers 14.250 13.634 12.600 0.000
Rose Woo 14.050 13.567 13.634 13.100
Ellie Black 14.500 13.850 14.000 13.467
 166.437  43.550 41.051 41.668 40.168
9. ITALY – 166.300
Giada Grisetti 14.100 13.950 13.500 12.366
Desiree Carofiglio 14.000 13.200 13.350 13.750
Martina Maggio 14.800 14.050 13.850 13.400
Sofia Busato 14.550 0.000 0.000 0.000
Lara Mori 13.600 13.100 13.300 13.800
166.300 43.450 41.200 40.700 40.950
 10. BRAZIL – 166.200
Rebeca Andrade 15.000 13.800 13.550 13.650
Flavia Saraiva 14.300 13.750 14.100 13.900
Thais Fidelis 13.550 12.700 13.467 13.733
Carolyne Pedro 13.950 13.000 12.900 12.600
X 0.000 0.000 0.000 0.000
 166.200 43.250 40.550 41.117 41.283
 11. AUSTRALIA – 165.058
Emily Little 14.750 12.775 13.233 13.400
Rianna Mizzen 14.575 14.500 13.200 12.934
Georgia-Rose Brown 13.575 13.800 13.425 13.225
Georgia Godwin 13.775 13.450 12.650 13.425
Cassidy Ercole 14.075 11.650 12.200 11.200
 165.058  43.400 41.750 39.858 40.050
12. ROMANIA – 162.797
Catalina Ponor 0.000 0.000 14.566 13.433
Olivia Cimpian 14.266 11.966 12.366 12.966
Larisa Iordache 0.000 14.050 14.566 0.000
Laura Jurca 13.150 12.850 12.200 0.000
Ioana Crisan 13.600 13.100 13.150 13.100
162.797 41.016 40.000 42.282 39.466
13. NETHERLANDS – 161.874
Eythora Thorsdottir 14.100 13.600 14.850 14.000
Sanne Wevers 0.000 0.000 14.500 0.000
Tisha Volleman 14.400 12.800 12.200 13.066
Kirsten Polderman 13.600 12.058 12.233 12.600
Anne Klein 13.600 10.900 9.400 12.667
161.874 42.100 38.458 41.583 39.733
14. BELGIUM – 161.415
Senna Deriks 13.800 14.033 12.25 13.450
Nina Derwael 13.650 14.633 13.45 12.966
Julie Meyers 13.633 12.750 11.900 11.850
Rune Hermans 13.350 13.150 13.150 12.750
Axelle Klinckaert 0.000 13.650 0.000 0.000
 161.415 41.083 42.316 38.850 39.166
 15. SPAIN – 159.415
Claudia Colom 13.650 11.350 13.150 12.800
Nora Fernandez 13.733 13.200 13.100 12.833
Ana Perez 13.650 13.833 13.233 12.700
Paula Raya 13.433 12.933 11.833 12.167
Cintia Rodriguez 12.933 12.733 13.200 13.200
 159.415 41.033 39.966 39.583 38.833
16. HUNGARY – 159.372
Zsofia Kovacs 14.600 14.734 13.967 13.067
Dorina Boczogo 0.000 11.267 12.934 12.900
Dalia Al-Salty 13.034 11.900 12.567 12.450
Boglarka Devai 14.467 12.234 12.000 12.334
Noemi Jakab 12.567 12.334 11.967 12.534
159.372 42.101 39.302 39.468 38.501
17. MEXICO – 157.252
Nicolle Castro 14.000 13.050 12.566 13.100
Jimena Moreno 13.466 12.700 12.550 12.740
Paulina Guerra 13.700 10.800 12.700 12.660
Mariana Almeida 13.766 11.550 12.200 13.030
Ahtziri Sandoval 13.750 13.300 11.534 11.700
153.550 41.050 37.600 37.850 37.050
 18. NORTH KOREA – 157.175
Kim Su Jong 14.450 13.250 12.200 13.250
Pyon Rye Yong 14.375 11.400 13.100 12.650
Jong Un Gyong 13.400 12.100 0.000 12.700
Kim Won Yong 13.400 0.000 12.150 12.400
Jon Jang Mi 0.000 13.350 12.350 0.000
157.175 42.225 38.700 37.650 38.600
19. UKRAINE – 156.291
Diana Varinska 0.000 13.933 12.550 12.900
Yana Fedorova 13.800 12.700 12.200 13.150
Valeria Osipova 13.558 12.600 12.500 12.400
Anastasia Beliaeva 13.350 11.350 12.550 12.350
Valeria Iarmolenko 12.000 11.750 11.350 12.700
156.291 40.708 39.233 37.600 38.750
 20. SWITZERLAND – 155.280
Ilaria Kaeslin 13.433 12.633 13.033 13.100
Caterina Barloggio 12.150 12.800 12.100 11.750
Fabienne Studer 13.333 12.700 12.566 11.833
Lynn Genhart 13.400 12.866 12.833 12.666
Thea Brogli 13.200 11.966 12.433 12.550
155.280  40.166 38.366 38.432 38.316
21. POLAND – 154.749
Gabriela Janik 14.033 13.400 12.933 13.100
Paula Plichta 13.467 9.950 12.333 12.733
Wictoria Lopuszanska 13.400 9.600 11.950 11.450
Klara Kopec 12.250 11.650 12.767 11.633
Alma Kuc 0.000 13.300 0.000 0.000
 154.749 40.900 38.350 38.033 37.466
22. CZECH REPUBLIC – 153.282
Adela Merkova 12.500 11.900 13.050 12.500
Veronika Cenkova 12.800 12.600 12.000 12.750
Vendula Merkova 12.350 12.516 13.500 13.000
Lucie Jirikova 13.200 12.066 11.850 12.133
Aneta Holasova 0.000 11.850 12.800 0.000
153.282 38.500 37.182 39.350 38.250
23. ICELAND – 153.050
Andrea Orradottir 13.150 10.200 12.050 12.200
Agnes Suto 13.400 12.250 12.450 12.350
Dominiqua Belanyi 12.966 12.850 12.950 12.500
Irina Sazonova 13.400 12.850 12.550 12.350
Tinna Odinsdottir 12.933 12.100 12.450 11.750
153.050 39.950 37.950 37.950 37.200
24. PORTUGAL – 152.799
Mariana Marianito 13.150 10.800 12.550 12.400
Beatriz Dias 13.250 10.000 12.400 12.250
Filipa Martins 13.500 13.666 13.500 13.250
Mariana Carvalho 13.000 11.633 12.250 11.450
Leonor Feijo 12.250 11.200 12.450 11.800
152.799 39.900 36.499 38.500 37.900
25. MALAYSIA – 150.982
Tan Ing Yueh 13.325 11.650 12.500 12.675
Ang Tracie 13.200 12.050 11.966 12.566
Farah Ann Abdul Hadi 13.250 12.250 11.350 13.550
Li Wen Rachel Yeoh 12.250 11.750 11.800 11.000
Azmi Nur Eli Ellina 12.400 10.500 11.900 12.350
150.982 39.775 36.050 36.366 38.791
26. AUSTRIA – 150.450
Jasmin Mader 13.550 12.700 12.250 12.266
Bianca Frysak 12.700 12.100 11.750 12.400
Marlies Mannersdorfer 13.000 12.100 11.200 12.650
Beatrice Stritzl 12.900 11.250 9.300 12.500
Christina Meixner 12.100 7.550 12.550 11.500
150.450 39.450 36.900 36.550 37.550
27. AZERBAIJAN – 150.416
 Marina Nekrasova 13.800 10.500 13.100 13.100
Maria Smirnova 13.200 0.000 0.000 0.000
Yulia Inshina 13.266 12.300 12.250 13.100
Ekaterina Tishkova 12.766 12.400 11.100 12.300
None 0.000 0.000 0.000 0.000
150.416 40.266 35.200 36.450 38.500
28. GREECE – 149.816
Argyro Afrat 13.600 12.900 13.150 12.600
Paraskevi Arvanitaki 11.400 9.800 11.250 11.900
Alexandra Emeinidou 12.900 3.000 11.050 11.200
Vasiliki Millousi 0.000 12.600 13.900 0.000
Ioanna Xoulogi 0.000 0.000 12.366 12.700
149.816 37.900 35.300 39.416 37.200
29. NORWAY – 149.441
Julie Soderstrom 13.350 12.000 12.200 12.350
Martine Skregelid 13.275 11.666 12.500 12.000
Solveig Berg 12.550 11.900 12.350 11.133
Sofie Aateigen 13.150 10.100 11.650 12.200
Thea Nygaard 12.900 11.350 12.150 12.500
 149.441 39.775 35.566 37.050 37.050
30. TURKEY – 147.315
Doga Ketenci 12.933 0.000 0.000 12.433
Ekin Morova 13.000 11.900 11.333 12.400
Demet Mutlu 13.550 12.750 11.050 12.700
Goksu Uctas Sanli 0.000 1.400 12.900 13.050
Doga Ocgocmez 12.300 8.933 11.833 11.166
 147.315 39.483 33.583 36.066 38.183
31. FINLAND – 146.250
Rosanna Ojala 13.166 11.300 11.600 11.900
Wilma Malin 13.250 11.467 9.600 11.600
Maija Leinonen 13.267 12.300 12.233 11.966
Annika Urvikko 13.200 10.933 11.467 12.100
Helmi Murto 12.500 10.100 11.150 12.100
146.250 39.717 35.067 35.300 36.166
32. IRELAND – 145.958
Meaghan Smith 13.000 10.667 11.260 12.634
Tara Donnelly 12.200 10.934 12.030 11.800
Chloe Donnelly 12.800 8.800 11.600 12.100
Casey Bell 13.100 12.500 0.000 0.000
Paulina Wiktorczyk 0.000 12.200 10.960 0.000
 145.958 38.900 35.634 34.890 36.534
33. DENMARK – 144.999
Victoria Gilberg 11.500 11.450 12.050 12.450
Mette Hulgaard 13.150 12.950 11.800 12.350
Freja Frandsen 12.700 8.800 8.250 11.100
Ida Holst 13,100 8.400 0.000 0.000
Marie Skammelsen 0.000 11.166 10.733 0.000
144.999 38.950 35.566 34.583 35.900
34. SINGAPORE – 143.530
Nadine Joy Nathan 13.000 11.766 11.950 11.700
Janessa Dai 12.750 11.266 10.666 11.700
Colette Chan 12.350 11.166 11.566 12.000
Zeng Qiyan 12.500 11.133 10.366 11.566
Kelsie Muir 12.900 10.133 11.500 11.966
143.530 38.650 34.198 35.016 35.666
35. BELARUS – 143.510
Hanna Traukova 13.000 11.700 12.950 12.450
Svietlana Lifenka 13.000 9.330 11.730 12.300
Natalia Malaeva 12.400 8.600 10.666 10.950
Viktoria Zhuk 12.150 6.600 12.730 8.850
Dziyana Hramko 12.400 10.970 4.700 10.450
143.510 38.400 32.000 37.410 35.700
36. CHINESE TAIPEI – 142.675
Fang Ko Ching 13.500 11.450 12.600 12.200
Lai Pin Ju 12.900 9.650 13.175 11.850
Chen Feng Chih 12.450 10.300 10.650 10.750
Wu Sing Feng 13.300 8.450 10.700 11.050
None 0.000 0.000 0.000 0.000
 142.675 39.700 31.400 36.475 35.100
37. ISRAEL – 142.091
Ofir Netzer 13.000 10.900 11.625 11.200
Gaya Giladi 13.550 0.000 0.000 12.000
Tzuf Feldon 12.200 0.000 11.750 11.800
Shailee Weiss 13.366 10.300 11.133 10.725
Ofir Kremer 0.000 10.200 12.400 0.000
142.091 39.916 31.400 35.775 35.000
38. PUERTO RICO – 139.805
Andrea Maldonado 13.867 11.500 12.834 13.134
Karelys Diaz 12.867 10.800 11.934 10.967
Nicole Diaz 12.334 7.767 9.634 12.167
None 0.000 0.000 0.000 0.000
None 0.000 0.000 0.000 0.000
139.805 39.068 30.067 34.402 36.268
39. INDIA – 136.250
Pranati Nayak 13.250 9.250 12.500 10.950
Aruna Budda Reddy 13.500 8.750 9.500 11.650
Dwija Asher 12.300 10.300 0.000 11.100
Pranati Das 0.000 10.750 11.050 10.350
Swastika Ganguly 12.200 0.000 9.650 0.000
136.250 39.050 30.300 33.200 33.700
40. BULGARIA – 134.740
Greta Banishka 13.341 10.483 11.500 12.100
Desislava Todorova 12.333 9.400 10.800 11.666
Valentina Rashkova 12.600 0.000 0.000 0.000
Yoana Yankova 12.450 8.500 12.200 9.700
None 0.000 0.000 0.000 0.000
134.740 38.391 28.383 34.500 33.466
41. PHILIPPINES – 133.100
Kaitlin DeGuzman 11.950 10.000 11.450 12.200
Cristina Onofre 12.500 9.450 10.900 11.650
Katrina Evangelista 10.800 8.800 10.750 10.850
Mariana Hermoso 0.000 8.450 10.000 11.400
Rachelle Arellano 12.050 0.000 0.000 0.000
133.100 36.500 28.250 33.100 35.250
42. KAZAKHSTAN – 131.883
 Anna Geidt 11.833 11.150 9.550 11.450
Yekaterina Chiukina 12.000 9.600 12.100 11.600
Zhanerke Duisek 11.800 9.850 9.900 11.050
None 0.000 0.000 0.000 0.000
None 0.000 0.000 0.000 0.000
131.883 35.633 30.600 31.550 34.100
Meet Recap

National Championships Round-up – CAN, AUS, FRA, BEL

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All the countries of the world (all of them) have suddenly decided to start national championshiping like it’s going out of style, so here’s a quick rundown of what happened this weekend, what we learned, and what this tells us about possible teams for world championships.

It may seem like worlds are still a long way off, but…well, yes, that’s kind of true. And yet, four months isn’t that long, and most countries won’t get the whole gang together again until then. This is already our last, best chance to prognosticate wildly, and if you think I’m not going to take that chance…

Lauren has compiled all the results for the meets I’m about to talk about so that no one else has to do it.

Canadian Championships

Unsurprisingly, the big winner at the Canadian champs was Ellie Black. She dominated the qualification day, placing first by multiple points, though things got much more real for her in the all-around final after a fall on bars nearly saw her drop behind Rose Woo. That would have been a serious upset. Black’s ultimate margin of victory was just three tenths, but with full difficulty and a hit meet, it would have been a lot, lot more.

Isabela Onyshko did not have an ideal championship, one that will probably be remembered for that E-score in the 2s on bars in qualification more than anything else (because if you think I’m going to stop talking about that…). Onyshko did “recover” on bars in the AA final for a one-fall 12.734, which was enough to get her a 4th-place finish, but she would have been expected to run second to Black here, all things being normal. Still, Onyshko did perform well enough on beam to take that title and hasn’t given away her status as Canada’s #2 senior AAer just because of this meet.

Shallon Olsen won the vault title because of course she did. She finished only 6th in the AA since…she’s an event specialist and isn’t here to make friends. And by make friends, I mean do bars or beam.

Olsen did not bring back the Amanar at this meet (going DTY along with the 1/2 on tucked 1.5), but if she does get the 2.5 back during the summer, she’ll be a favorite for worlds selection because, well, anyone with a vaulting program more difficult than DTY/Lopez will have at least a vague look at a medal this year. Even though her form can get funky, she’d be among Canada’s most likely finals contenders. Continue reading National Championships Round-up – CAN, AUS, FRA, BEL →

Stuff and Nonsense

Things Are Happening – May 26, 2017

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A. NCAA moves and shakes
We’ve had a few roster developments in NCAA this week, beginning with the news that 2012 French Olympian Anne Kuhm is leaving elite and will be joining NCAA for this coming season. In the original interview, she did not state which team she’s joining (YOU IMPENETRABLE SPHINX), but it’s an open secret that it’s Arizona State. Which ASU confirmed today, also disclosing that she’ll have two years of eligibility upon transferring from her university in France.

It’s a big fat get for Arizona State. (And pretty unexpected. France-to-Arizona State, that well-worn track.) Here’s a routine refresher for Kuhm, her sets from the 2016 Test Event:

Vault
Bars
Beam
Floor

We’ll have to wait and see what her routines look like now, but you know, GET IN THE ALL-AROUND.

Arizona State also announced today that Kaitlyn Szafranski is coming to join her sister, transferring from LSU where she never competed. (How very Oregon State of you.) The third addition to next year’s team is Maya Williams, Toni-Ann’s sister. You might remember Maya from being on the 2015 Jamaican worlds team with Toni-Ann. Everything’s coming up ASU, it seems.

In other state-of-Arizona developments, Skyler Sheppard has been removed from U of Arizona’s roster for 2018. Sheppard was competing VT, BB, and FX pretty regularly before a vault injury mid-season.

In coaching news, Paul Stoklos is retiring after 33 seasons at Alaska. They say they’re going to search for a new head coach, so let’s hope. Alaska has recently cut sports like skiing and track, and gymnastics was among those on the chopping block. It has survived so far, but I worried that the retirement of the coach was a sign that the whole program was being shuttered.

The Kupets staff is also starting to take shape, with Charlie Tamayo joining as an assistant.

B. NCAA postseason

So, this is where we currently are with the proposed changes to the NCAA postseason. It’s pretty much what we knew before, but with the addition of the play-in round to retain 36 teams making the postseason. I knew the coaches weren’t going to stand for limiting it to 32. It’s still not my ideal system, but it’s so much better, and it makes sense. Continue reading Things Are Happening – May 26, 2017 →

Great Moments in Gymnastics

Great Moments in Beam Falls

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If there’s one thing we can say about the first half of 2017, it has really put the “HA” back in “harrowing disaster.”

And for that, we owe it a great deal. It has saved us, returning us to our roots and reminding us that to take the mundane and modern view of a beam fall simply as “a mistake” or “a deduction” or “a miserable storm of hate-diarrhea that has ruined everything” is to obscure the original purpose of falling on beam: comedy.

When Toulouse-Shelgunova called us to her side and said, “I’ll just pick up this flyer for free piano lessons and…NO IT’S A TRAP…”

When Flavia Magritte tried to teach Double Dutch to that clan of militant gibbons…

…they joined a pantheon as old as time itself. One that truly understands them.

Because sometimes, you just have to droop down and…succumb to the pox once and for all?

“Who wants to bring Nana a barf bag?”

And sometimes you would resume your routine after a fall, but the beam just doesn’t deserve it.

“You know what? No. Not for you today.”

Continue reading Great Moments in Beam Falls →

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Because gymnastics is a comedy, not a drama